Taking Fun To A Whole New Level
Walking through Facebook today, checking the haps of my youth and answering their occasional posts to me, I came across an interesting article I felt compelled to check for accuracy. Surely this is a joke. Surely they wouldn't... but yes, it's true. PETA - which stands for 'People Against The Treatment of Animals as it...' wait, no, it's 'People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals' - is at it again. This time they are leveling their extremist gun barrels at...
- People with YouTube videos of chickens fighting or disturbed teens biting the heads off of little puppies?
- Hunters ripping skins off of bears in the wild and licking the bloody side before leaving the bear's naked frame and meat there to rot?
- Or someone pulling a dog down the street as it's tied to the rear bumper of a car?
Mario. I don't know the last name, because in the video game world he's known only as Mario, brother to Luigi, saver of princesses and conqueror of worlds. No last name. Or at least not one I know of or will spend any amount of time looking up.
What I will address is how ridiculous PETA is for setting their sites on a video game in their efforts to force their agenda down everyone else's throats.
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| Screen shot from the PETA-approved and site-sponsored game. |
PETA doesn't leave anything up to guesswork, stating on their site once the picture is clicked, "When on a mission to rescue the princess, Mario has been known to use any means necessary to defeat his enemy—even wearing the skin of a raccoon dog to give him special powers. Tanooki may be just a "suit" in Mario games, but in real life, tanuki are raccoon dogs who are skinned alive for their fur. By wearing Tanooki, Mario is sending the message that it's OK to wear fur. Play Super Tanooki Skin 2D and help Tanooki reclaim his fur!" Now, I confess I'm not willing to go to the local library to research the veracity of the "skinned alive" claim, nor am I willing to methodically search through all 560,000 Google search results. But I am on the side of PETA in saying that to do that would be cruel and unusual punishment of the tanuki. That being said, you may be asking yourself...
Reaction & Hyperbole
"What is the point? Certainly PETA is not advocating entertainment at the expense of those poor, digitized Tanooki's just to make a point, right?" ... Right? I find the image of a PETA-supporter hunched over their keyboard, alternately cheering and crying as the horrifically animated scenes of death roll past, rather comical - oh, but they got another bloody coin!! Yes. Yes, I'm afraid I did say 'bloody coin.' They went all out for this game.
I don't want anyone to think I'm being reactionary here. I certainly am not accusing PETA of using hyperbole to make a point, or vilifying those who use or eat animal-based products to promote their agenda, or even lumping Nintendo with an "animal cruelty moniker" for lack of better material this month. Okay, I lied, I guess. I'm doing all of that, and likely giving them reason to attack me for those gruesomely fictitious examples above (which will no doubt encourage some sicko to do just that and bring the full wrath of PETA upon my bald-but-decidedly-good-looking pate). But I'm not reacting. Rather, I am acting to speak out against such bold and unapologetic attacks against anyone that enjoys a leather jacket, steak and potatoes, a bowl of clam chowder (wait, does PETA fight for clams too, or no?), or a celebratory plate of turkey and dressing over the upcoming Thanksgiving break. I am objecting to attempts to vilify me - and those like me - simply because I disagree with PETA's particular brand of extremism. What does PETA gain by painting meat-eaters (etc.) as people who destroy animals with faces twisted in sadistic pleasure? Why does your message portray me as one who takes sick pleasure in watching the life of another living thing drain away? You could say "they don't do that," but they did it to Mario. And paint thrown on women wearing furs isn't fantasy, but reality. Do these hyperbolic tactics actually work on people?
Ideology & Sarcasm
In one article over PETA's overreaction, we read, "And here we thought Mario got the Power-Suit from a Super Leaf that transformed him into Tanooki Mario. Our mistake." Our mistake indeed. The author actually mentions one of Mario's earlier costumes - that of a bee - as a possible next target for the animal rights activists. The suggestion was foolish, for bees are not cute and thus do not fall under the Bambi-driven, Thumper-thumping* ideological banner of PETA. I do not believe PETA has concerted their efforts around the protection of defenseless mosquitoes, who are killed by the thousands - nay, millions - each year. And just for sport! They are not consistent in their animal-driven ideology, especially if there are those who wave the PETA flag but still consider the taking of another human life through abortion a woman's right to choose. No, we are not animals - I'm not saying that. But anyone who puts animals about sentient beings needs more protein in their diet. It's okay, we all make mistakes.
When contacted regarding their attack on Mario, PETA responded that the site has something for everyone, from the tasteless to the classy and respectful to irreverent. In the name of numbers, they profess to do what's needed to get the message out. Then they asked me to join the fight. I think they missed the point of my message. The top picture of PETA's front page website is an angry looking Mario holding a Tanooki and surrounded by blood - the very picture you see here. Now, it could be that I'm not observant enough, or haven't played my old school Nintendo recently enough, but I don't recall the Super Mario Brothers games being so given to gratuitous violence, even hatred, as PETA seems to imply on their site, and with this picture. I had no idea Mario was such a psychopathic killer. One has to wonder, when faced with such startling revelation, when the game producers will come up with a Mario at Columbine or Mario at Ground Zero to honestly address this murderous streak in what we once thought to be an imaginative character. Imagination indeed. PETA actually has in their game a flying Mario draped in animal skin dripping blood. Play nice, kids!
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And for those who are curious, yes, you can beat the game. PETA has a very classy ending... or is it irreverent? At any rate, I beat the game and got that loveable little tanooki his fur back. You can too, and I'm sure you could even beat my score! Screw you, Mario, and your little anti-animal cronies too!**
* Bambi and Thumper are not creations of the author but sole intellectual and property rights of Walt Disney Company and its yada yada, you get the point.
** I'm kidding, Mario. I love you and all your Nintendo-generated cohorts. I know you're not violent, and kill defenseless little animals for the fun of it and to wear their hides. I know you and Luigi rarely have time to hunt, what with your plumbing business, and that your families depend on you to provide. But if you were to hunt I'm sure you would use gratefully what you killed for the survival of your families. We love you, even if PETA slanders your name. PS, do you have kids and, if so, is Uncle Luigi a hit when he picks them up and spins them?
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